Tlawm Deuh In Chim Law, Tam Deuh In Ngai

(Speak Less, Listen More)

By Thawng Peng

Naihrawng cu ka holh a tam chuachuah. Ka hmur zong a sau dom. Ka zei dek a ti ual. Mi bia ngaih ruam kai zal lo. Ka chim deuhdeuh, ka palhmi a tam deuhdeuh. Ka chim deuhdeuh mi ngaihchiatnak, lungfahnak le nun nuamhlonak ka chuahpi deuhdeuh. Mi kong ceih hrim te nih a ka thawt tuk. A sengh in kai senghtlaih lomi mi kong hna dawh hlawptlo dom in ka ceih cu! Biaphei in chim ding zong biatung in ka chim. "Bianem chim le lamphei kal" tiah phungthluk kan ngei nain ka kaa in bianem an chuak kho ruam lo, biahrang lawngte an chuak. Hruh le ngaat hlei i, molh le tamh i chap hi cu a poi kho sing tuk.

Bia tam deuh na chim paoh ah tam deuh in na sual ve sual ko lai, cucaah na fim ahcun bia nai sum lai (Phungthluk Bia 10:19).

Na lungre a theih deuh paoh ah mangchia na manh deuh ko lai, cu bantukin tam deuh bia na chim paoh ah hruhnak bia kha tam deuh na chim sual ko lai (Phungchimtu 5:3).

Hitihin Baibal nih ralrinnak a kan pek ko nain fawh, kaaciip ruam zal loin arfa ciap in ka ciap cu! Kai chir dom. I chir len zongah zei tthahnem ti hlah, ka chim cang leh cu teh. Asinain, hmailei ah zeiti tal in kai siamremh kho hnga maw, tiah "tlawm deuh chim ttung i, tam deuh ngaih" he ai pehtlaimi ca le phungthluk ka kawl. Tampi ka hmuh nain Guy Harris nih a chimmi hi ka duh cem. Hihi ka zulhkhawh ahcun zeimawzat cu kai siamremh kho hrimhrim lai, tiah ka ruah. Cucu ka van in siaherh ve hna.

1. Listen to understand, not to respond

Minung pakhat nih bia a chim tikah a chim duhnak le a sullam ruat hmasa loin le fiang set lo buin leh colh a hmangmi kan um. Cun, micheu cu bia an chimmi, ca an ttialmi fian hmasa i tim loin zeitindah ka leh lai, tiah chizawh zu bawh in a bawh mi kan um fawn. Lai Forum le Rungcin a rel pahmi nih cun nan fiang ko lai. Cucaah, mi chimmi bia fian i zuam hmasa hna usih law, cu hnu ah let hna usih. Hihi Guy Harris nih cun baseball game he a tahchunh:

To listen effectively, I suggest that you view dialogue more like a pitcher and catcher in a baseball game. The pitcher (speaker) throws the ball for the catcher (you) to receive it. The catcher only throws the ball back after he has it firmly in his grasp.

In other words, listen to receive the meaning. Once you understand, then you can respond.

2. Be quiet or be silent

Mi pakhat nih lungtho ngai in le i biatak ngai in bia a chim lioah kan theihmi le kan hngalhmi hnihchun te ka chim manh lai lo, ti phun in a chimmi a dih hlan ah i thlak duduk kan hmang tawn. Bia an chim lioah cun dai tein ngai hmasa ko usih, kan chim caan a phan ve ko lai. Dai tein um hi bia ngaih phunkhat asi. Guy Harris nih cun hitihin a ti:

· Being quiet gives you the opportunity to hear the words, the tone, and the meaning behind the words.

· When your mouth is open, your ears are closed.

· LISTEN and SILENT have the same letters.

3. Let them finish their thoughts

Hihi No. 2 he ai khat nawn ko. Mi bia tan a hmang tuk mi kan um ttheu. Mi pakhat nih a chimmi bia kha kan theih cia asi ahcun uite ekchuak bak kan lo. Ka theih cia, ka hngalh cia ti phun in a bia ngai duh lo bantuk, khua dang i hoiter bantuk, lu i kheuhter bantukin kan um tawn. Cucu kan palh tawnnak asi. Ziah tiah cun, kan chimmi le kan theihmi ai khah ko zongah sullam tampi in hrilhfiah khawh asi. Phundang in chim ahcun, kong khat nih hin sullam tampi a ngei. Cucaah, na theih cia le na hngalh cia an chim len zongah an duhnak le an ruahnak kha tling khitkhet in a dongh cikcek tiang chimter ko hna.

4. Maintain eye contact

Bia ka chim lio i an ka zoh lo ahcun ka biachim tha a tho kho bak lo. Nan si cio lai dah ka ti.. Zei ca’h tiah, kan bia an ngai lo, tiin kan ruah hna. Bia na chim lioah ka zoh hna seh, ti na duh bantukin va zoh ve hna. Keimah hi ka zual khun rua; bia an chim lioah vawlei i virhter bantuk, ca dang i relter bantuk (hawi hlei carel pi bang) in ka um a tlawm lo. “Zoh” hi a biapi taktak. Zeiruang tiah, zei maw caan ah cun an chimmi bia nakin an kut le an ke in an piahmi nih an chim duhmi a fianter deuh tawn. Ka Pu Lal hi a holh a aa tuk le a chimmi bia a dih hlan ah a kutke in a piahmi zohnak in a chim duhmi theih chung khawh asi. Sopum Hram Zi hi a holh kho lo le a kutke le a mithmai in a piahmi na zoh lo ahcun a chim duhmi hi na chanchung na fiang kho lai lo. Guy Harris nih cun tihitin a ti:

“Good listeners learn to “listen” with their eyes as well as with their ears.”

5. Ask questions to ensure that you understand

Bia an chim. Na ngaih i na theih. Asinain, ka fiang dih tiah va ruat hlah. Na fian lomi a um tikah na fiang na lo bu pi in va let colh hna hlah. Na fianlonak zawnte kha “hi zawnte hi ka fiang deuh lo” tiah hal hmasa hna law, an in chimh tthan hnu ah va let te hna.

Good leaders are good listeners. Effective listening helps to resolve conflicts, build trust, inspire people, and strengthen teams.. It often requires you to “bite your tongue.”

A tanglei mifim bia le phungthluak bia pawl hi a cunglei ca bawmtu dingah ka van telh chih hna.

“If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words.” Chinese Proverb

“We have two ears and only one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less.” Diogenes Laertius

“He understands badly who listens badly.” Welsh Proverbs

“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears - by listening to them.” Dean Rusk

“Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story.” Max Ehrmann,

“When the mind is thinking, it is talking to itself.” Plato

“From listening comes wisdom, and from speaking repentance.” Italian Proverb

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” James Baldwin

“Most of the successful people I've known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” Bernard Baruch

“Before you speak, listen.” William Arthur Ward